


The Lesson of Self-Sacrifice

by Furuyanagi_Churin



Series: Random Keyakizaka46 OS Collection [2]
Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuyanagi_Churin/pseuds/Furuyanagi_Churin
Summary: After Hirate Yurina ushers for Nagahama Neru to go back home and visit family, disaster strikes at the wrong time, leaving Neru in a life or death situation.





	The Lesson of Self-Sacrifice

**Neru’s POV**

 

Blaring alarm signals and panicked shouts. That’s when I knew something was happening. I stood in what was my hometown, seeing nothing but dilapidated buildings that had once stood with pride. I wanted to help those in need, the people I knew and didn’t knew who needed my help the most.

 

But I knew I had a hard choice to make. Either risk leaving my family to die here and go back to the other Keyaki members, or stay and risk dying myself.

 

I heard my phone buzz from my pocket, whilst deep in thought. I took it out and saw a text from Yurina-chan.

 

_ “Neru, I heard how bad it is over in Nagasaki. Are you okay?” _

 

Ah, she’s worried about me… To be fair, I’m worried about her too. But I don’t know what to say. I can’t just tell her “Hey, I’m okay but you’re not going to see me for a while,” that would just make her more worried.

 

_ “Ahh, yeah I’m alright.” _

 

After a few second, I instantly got a reply.

 

_ “Are you able to make it out?” _

 

That’s the worrying thought swirling through my mind. I know I won’t be able to make it out unscathed, and yet, part of my mind wants to say I will.

 

_ “I’ll see.” _

 

**_“To all citizens of Nagasaki City, please evacuate as quickly as you can. I repeat, evacuate as quickly as you can.”_ **

 

I didn’t know what to do. I ran up to the nearest possible police officer.

 

“Is there anything I can do to help, sir?”

 

“E-Eh? You can’t be here, ma’am. You need to evacuate as soon as you can.”

 

“I want to help!” I declared, gripping my fists with agitation, “Please… if I can’t help save lives, then I don’t know what I would do.”

 

“B-But ma’am…” the officer thought about it, “I-if you’d like to help us, please help us evacuate everyone out of the city.”

I did as the officer said, rushing to any civilian still standing in the city. 

However, something didn’t feel right to me. It was worrying when I had seen a little girl underneath a building that could collapse on top of her at any moment.

I ran as fast as I could to catch up to her, and on the spur of the moment, as I had reached her, pushed her away from the danger zone.

“E-Eh? Onee-chan,” She said to me, turning around to face me, “What are you doing?”

“Just go. Onee-chan did it to protect you,” I replied, “I’ll be--”

I heard a deep rumbling noise. I knew this wasn’t good.

“B-but…”

“Just run!”

As the girl ran, I followed behind, not realizing anything going on behind me.

\-----------------------------------

**Yurina’s POV**

I was anxiously waiting for any sort of reply from Neru. It’s been a week since I’ve last had anything from her and it’s making me really anxious. I was also watching the TV, in case any news on her came up.

_ “Breaking news - due to the recent incidents in Nagasaki, it has been confirmed that at least 150 people have been reported to be missing.” _

_ Oh no… _

_ “Within those missing persons, it’s been speculated that Keyakizaka46 front member Nagahama Neru is one.” _

**Buzz Buzz Buzz**

I turned to my phone, looking at the 19 notifications from the other members

**_Akanen_ ** _ : Have you heard about Neru? _

**_Berika:_ ** _ Apparently she’s in a hospital in Tokyo. We should go see her. _

**_Miichan:_ ** _ We should! _

**_Yuuka:_ ** _ Techi, you there? You gonna come with us? _

I didn’t know what to reply; I was so conflicted with my feelings that I didn’t want to go, but yet something in me wanted to see how she was doing.

I replied with: _ “I’ll meet you guys in Shibuya.” _

I had to hurry. I wanted time with her,  _ alone _ .

I made my way to Nagoya Station, impatiently waiting for the first train to Tokyo. 

It felt strange… Neru was the last person I had wanted anything to happen to. She was someone who had cheered everyone up when we were all upset or something had happened to all of us. Even though she had her own problems, she went out of her way to help, comfort and make us all happy.

I wanted to return the favor back to her… I want to make her feel like there was someone there to look after her…

The journey, however, was very slow. As the train had been moving, I was staring at my phone for the whole time. For any update on her condition, if they’ve found her, if she’s okay…

**~Buzz Buzz~**

**_Akanen:_ ** _ How long are you gonna be? We’re here. _

I didn’t reply to her, instead I was focusing more on the many outcomes that came ahead of me.

Finally, I made it to Tokyo. After a hefty walk to Shibuya, I had seen Yuuka and the others wave at me from a distance.

I hated it. I shouldn’t have told her to take a break; I shouldn’t have told her to go home. None of this would’ve happened if I had kept my mouth shut.

_ “Neru.. please, be safe…” _

The five of us had then went to the largest hospital in Tokyo, with hopes that we would find out groupmate, our friend.

“Do you guys think Neru’s okay?” Miichan asked us, “I mean what happened in Nagasaki was pretty serious. If she was to make it out alive, then she’s going to have pretty serious injuries.”

“Can you not talk about her anymore?” I replied bluntly, not wanting to hear anything more about Neru or her condition.

“Ahh, right. Sorry, Techi.”

We saw the hospital in view and hurriedly went inside. The receptionist, though startled by our initial entrance, she had shrugged off the thought instantly.

“Has Nagahama Neru been admitted?” I asked quite hurriedly, and impatiently.

“She’s in Intensive Care,” the receptionist replied, “Up on the third floor, room 2.”

“Thank you!”

We rushed up the stairs, but I was hesitating. I didn’t want to go in.

“Techi?”

“Huh? I-I’m coming.”

When we got to her room, we slowly opened the door and I had gasped when I had seen the state she was in. It was to the extent that she had to have help with breathing, she had tubes and needles poking out of her and machines were slowly beeping away.

We got more worried and my mind instantly went back to what Miichan had said on the way here.

_ “If she was to make it out alive, then she’s going to have pretty serious injuries.” _

“Techi?” Yuuka then proceeded to catch my attention, “Is this too much for you?”

“Neru… this is all my fault,” I murmured, not looking at her lifeless body.

“E-Eh?” The other four questioned me simultaneously, “What do you mean?”

“When we were told that we could have a week off, I suggested to Neru that she goes to visit her family back in Nagasaki…”

The physical pain Neru must’ve gone through seemed to be unbearable… but the emotional pain I was feeling… made me want to die.

“Techi, it wasn’t your fault. It was--” Yuuka tried to reason with me.

“It was! I know it was!” I retaliated back fiercely.

“Guys!” Akanen interjected, “Now’s not the time for arguing. Not just for the three of us, but for Neru as well.”

“Right, we shouldn’t be arguing.”

“Sorry…”

“I was gonna go get her some flowers and a get well soon card, getting everyone to sign it,” Miichan replied.

“R-Right…”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to scream; I wanted to cry… but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

“We should give her some time alone with Neru,” Yuuka, being the responsible captain, suggested.

“We’re going to leave,” Akanen also said, “Be careful, Techi…”

As the four of them left, I took a seat beside the bed where Neru was.

“Neru.. I’m sorry..” I apologised, taking hold of her cold, cold hand,  “It’s my fault you’re like this…”

All I could hear in reply was deep, heavy breathing. I didn’t want to leave her. I couldn’t bare leaving her; I didn’t want to abandon her when she was at her most vulnerable. 

“If there’s something… just something I could do to help you…”

Every minute spent in there felt like an eternity. Just looking at her for a few seconds seemed like a few hours.

I made sure to visit her everyday, with or without the others with me. I wanted to make sure that at least someone was there for her, wanting her to know that she was important to someone.

I would just sit next to her bed, just hoping she would somehow wake up.

As I was doing so, all the fatigue I felt from my day had washed over me, and I drifted off without realizing…

_ …. _

_ Neru… please live… _

_ I don’t want you to die… _

_ Don’t… leave… _

_ …. _

My eyes fluttered open and I found myself laying against the hospital bed, my hand still in Neru’s.  _ How long has it been..? _

As I sat up in my seat and looked at the clock, I saw that several hours had passed. I looked over to Neru and saw that nothing seemed to change.

I frowned. I knew that there was a low chance of her waking up, but somewhere in me… there was hope.

“Neru…” I whispered softly, closing my eyes.

I felt a tighter grip on my hand. I eyed Neru and saw that her eyes were slowly opening, much to my surprise and happiness.

“Neru..?!” I called out to her.

“...Te..chi?”

Tears welled at the rims of my eyes. Tears of relief, of joy, of guilt. Of everything I felt that was trapped inside me, like a bubble being popped, all of it poured out through my tears.

“Neru..! I’m sorry..!”

“...Huh…?”

“It’s my fault..! I shouldn’t have told you to go… I didn’t..! I didn’t want..!”

“Techi…” her hushed voice made me quieten down, “It… wasn’t your fault… you… couldn’t have expected it…”

“But…”

“You don’t.. H-have to apologize… I.. I’m just.. Happy you’re here…”

I nodded without saying a word, smiling.

Afterwards, the nurse came in and I had to be dismissed as visiting hours were ending soon. I parted with Neru and promised I’d come visit often as she recovered and rehabilitated from her injuries.

I did as I promised, making sure I had visited her every single day, coming to check on her progress. Other members came with me, giving her gifts or talking to her about work, waiting in anticipation for when Neru would get back on her feet. She even received get well gifts from fans.

We were all happy that Neru was alive, but I know that through this incident, something tells me that we all had a difficult decision to make.

\---------------------

_ 2 weeks later… _

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yeah… this is what I want.”

I couldn’t believe what I heard. But it was true.

Neru announced her graduation from Keyakizaka46. She revealed that the reason was due to the accident and her health, but somewhere, I knew that there was a deeper reason.

Nonetheless, she had made her decision. No matter what happens between us, she will be an important person in my life. I will always support her decision. And, I will always…

“Neru-chaaaaaan~” Iguchi Mao ran up from behind Neru and hugged her, her loud voice resonating. “I’m gonna miss you soooo much when you leave!”

“Ah, th-thanks…”

“Ahhh~ please promise you’ll keep in contact with me!”

“Mou, fine.”

I cleared my throat, as Mao was oblivious that I was just speaking to Neru. When she looked up at me, her eyes widened and bowed to me apologetically before leaving.

“Sorry about that…” Neru apologized. “Anyways, Techi… I know it’s been hard for you… But, I can’t just stay here with you guys anymore…”

“Why is that?” I asked, gripping my fists, “I know you explained it already… but I just can’t believe that reason.”

“I don’t want to hold everyone back again. I can’t burden you all further like this. Especially when you all have such bright futures ahead of you,” She replied, biting her lip in sadness, “I mean, Habu-chan’s been getting a lot of modelling work; you and Akanen are making yourselves known as radio personalities. I don’t want to push that back at all.”

“Neru… we’re not a group without you but if it’s your choice, then go. I can’t see the group without you.”

She smiled, hugging me tightly. It might’ve been the last time we talked together.

And I soon as I had realised, it was her graduation concert. Everyone put on a energetic performance as usual, but when it had come to the encore, I wanted to give her a letter after she had performed both Matta Atte Kudasai and 100-nen Matteba in front of the Tokyo Dome audience. We both stood facing each other as the other members watched on from behind us. As expected, she was surprised by the sudden letter, but I had known myself that these feelings needed to be expressed sooner or later.

“E-Eh? Techi, you didn’t have to…”

“I did. I would have regretted it otherwise.”

As with that, I started reading.

_ Dear Neru, _

_ First of all, thank you for being with us for the past two years. Thank you for being with me through the ups and downs, making sure I was okay, making sure that everyone else was okay. It was thanks to you that I could feel happy again, even through the pressure and anxiety I feel being the center of the group. _

_ It was because of you that I had wanted to interact with the others. Knowing I was the youngest, it felt strange being with others who were older than me. But when you arrived later than everyone else, you embraced my youth, knowing you couldn’t have the same the same experiences as me anymore. _

_ You leaving now, now of all times, is going to leave a deep void in my heart. However, all that I can do is wish for your happiness. _

_ I wish you the best in whatever you do in the future and please remember us. _

_ -Hirate Yurina _

I looked up to see her, her tears flowing. I immediately hugged her as the fans in the audience cheered.

“Thank you…”

I could only nod, burying my shoulder into her chest.

This was going to be the last time I’ll ever see Nagahama Neru as an idol.  It was bittersweet but it was bound to happen someday.


End file.
